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’ I knew the subject of children was off-limits on the first few dates, but my growing baby angst hijacked my common sense.Another single friend, who is 38, says she mentally mixes her genes with a man’s before she’s even halfway through their first date.
” on the first date.’ She has not given up on the idea of finding love and continues to date, but she is also meeting potential partners through co-parenting websites.
This has relieved some of the pressure on her because, while co-parenting would not be an attractive option for everyone, she has a back-up plan if she needs it.
Peter Spalton, a dating coach, says this is a big mistake.
‘Leave the emotional baggage out of it for the first couple of dates,’ he says. People have very sensitive radars when it comes to the motives of those close to them.
‘If you talk about children early on, there’s a chance you’ll scare him off.’Psychotherapist Phillip Hodson, who specialises in family, love and sex, advises caution: ‘The first thing you should be asking yourself is not “is he good father material? We women often think we are cleverly hiding our true intentions, but men can see through us.
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So taking off our baby goggles could prove to be our saving grace. I realised that dating to the diktats of my biological clock wasn’t much fun — for the men I met or for me — so I called off the search for a partner and set about gaining some perspective.